Well..... I did say something..... anything...... Quite honestly, I feel like I have been punched in the gut. I phoned our agency a few minutes ago regarding a question I had with the Immigration procedure. While on the phone I asked whether or not they have heard anything regarding the online system. I was put on hold and then I was told that a list did indeed arrive last night. Unfortunately, there was no baby on there for us. I am not sure why I let myself get my hopes WAY up. I worried about allowing that to happen, but really couldn't help it this time!

So, here we are.... waiting still. I guess I have no right to complain as some people are still waiting since our first journey. I feel selfish when I think about them. At the same time, I am sad. I just hope that our time does indeed come.

Anyway, there's the news. No news again.... that is the thing I think that kills me really. When you are a part of the SN lists, you always have the hope that you are going to hear of your little one. When you are expecting your proposal with the NSN, as horribly long a process as it is, you have an idea of when you can completely expect to receive news. Anyway, I will continue to try to wrap my heart around being totally prepared, and yet prepared to wait. Wait.......

Sorry, I suppose that I need to chin up now. No more pity party.... I am going to wash the dishes and take our girls to the EcoM. the air may help clear my head! Not so sure about the heart though! I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up high, I just couldn't help it....

xoxo Jen